Bullying Does Not Equal Power
Women who believe they need to bully, harass, and separate themselves from other women have unfortunately been misled to believe that this will bring them power. They believe that it is the way to succeed in corporate America. They attempt to mix the masculine competitive energy and individualism (which has its purpose) into the batter with the feminine strengths of cooperation, wisdom, and groupism. The two do not mix well without lots of discernment and assurance that personal values are adhered to.
The Impact of Attitude
I have worked with “bully women” who do not see the impact of their actions. They feel that they are loving and abundant at their core. In one situation, my client shared she was loving and abundant at home and with friends, yet at work, she had a reputation for being uncooperative and mean which caused havoc in her relationship with customers and coworkers. She believed that who she was at home was her true self and that she could separate the two worlds. She felt she had to be “tough” at work because of messages she received from her family and bosses early in her career.
However, as we progressed through our coaching objectives, she came to realize the impact of her behavior on everyone around her (including her family). She saw that she had not been as good as she thought about keeping work at work. Her work mentality had crept into her attitude about personal and professional relationships, blocking her from her ideal life with her family and herself. She saw that what she had been told was not working for her any longer, so in our work together, she unraveled who she truly was and began mending relationships at work and home. The result was a happier and more productive environment for everyone. And her company supported her in this process!
Remember Who You Are
When women bring their natural open hearts and wisdom to the boardroom table, real change happens. I want the women who have forgotten who they are at their core to know that it does not have to be that way, and they have the ability and innate intuition to change who they are being. I imagine how lonely these women are; missing the heart connection that we women have together. In addition, those who care about women embarking upon such a change, I encourage you to reach out with messages of support.
After all, when a bully is faced with a common force of love and empathy, their wall will crumble. When we, as women, join forces to help those who have lost their way WOW! Amen.