The Specters of the Past Can Haunt Us

Mistakes made, failed business ventures, marriages, death of a loved one, childhood hurts, and so on.

Sometimes, the past represents an ideal we feel we may never attain again―a “Camelot” of our own creation―the perfect relationship once had, a chance not taken, a missed opportunity. The choices and decisions we made then and today are based on beliefs that may have served us at one time but do not serve us now.

Continuing to Play Out The Past

As part of the cycle (which can be about any kind of loss), people may continue to play out dramas from the past to find out “what went wrong” and to try to fix the situation. Many times this is an exercise in futility, as extraneous circumstances influence factors over which we have little control. Thus, there is no closure, no finality, and people become stuck in their own lives. If you are stuck in a cycle of old thoughts and beliefs and want to embrace your full potential, let go of the past, honor your experiences, and create a life from lessons learned.

Embracing the “NOW”

How does one break the patterns of the past to embrace the “now”? If you truly want to move beyond the past into the now, FORGIVE. I love this quote by Gerald Japolsky, “Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.”

Here are some tips to begin the process of forgiveness:

  • View today as a new day. Visualize your life without the burden of the past. Who would you be? What would you be doing in the world? What would happiness look like on you?
  • Write an “I Forgive” list. Include people who have hurt you. There may be people that you want to forgive and others you are not ready to forgive; be willing to list them all.
  • At the top of your “I Forgive” list, write your name. “I forgive ME.” Have you considered that the choices you made in the past were made based on what you knew at the time? Judging yourself today on knowledge you did not even know at that time is counter-productive and will keep you stuck.
  • Rediscover your dreams and aspirations. Tap into your dreams and desires for the future. Create a dream board and fill it with pictures that speak to you about a life you imagine living. Write down goals and steps to achieve them.
  • Make your personal mantra, “If it’s meant to be, it is up to me”. If you want something to happen, the time is now for you to take charge of your own life and make what you want to happen, happen.

This is a “no matter what” in my book. If you want to move out of the past and into the Now & Next, start today. Share your successes with me. If you get stuck or want to talk further about this, please contact me (513-785-0673).